Things I want to do before i turn 50!

I know it’s still a long way ahead but I am just getting my options ready and organized.  So here they are…

1. Go to the Land of Milk and Honey!Just have to wait for US economy to improve..Then I’ll bring my whole family to Disneyland or Universal Studios or maybe Knott’s Berry Farm or maybe to all three.I’ve often read about how family-oriented those places are.I just got to convince myself to ride the roller coasters.Hmmm..


2. Go on a diet and look stunningly gorgeous at 50!I want to be one Hot momma or grandma(woops,i hope not until I’m 60!)


3. Go on a bungee jump or go on a parachute jump.I have to conquer my fear of heights once and for all!Wheeee!!!!


4.Take yoga or meditation classes.I need to relax and discover my inner chakra!Have to be able to reconnect with my Indian ancestry then….


5. Switch to a diet of Fish and Vegetables only!I guess it’s a sure way to live longer than 50.I want to live up to a hundred maybe or more!I wanna be ancient.ahahaha!


6.Renew wedding vows with Sweetie, the love of my life!This one’s waaaay overdue.It should have been done sooner.


7. Live with my Dad.We’ve been separated(He’s in the US) since 1990 and God knows how much i miss him so!This would be a dream come true.


8.Challenge myself to eat isaw, kwek-kwek or any street food for that matter.Even for just once I won’t be scared of its repurcussions.


9. Finally get to buy myself a purple Louis Vuitton bag and not have to close my eyes when I see how much it costs.


10.Enroll myself in refresher course in driving and then eventually drive my own car(preferably a mini cooper!)


11.Try to learn one musical instrument (maybe piano or guitar).This has always been one of my childhood frustrations.


12. Give my kids a Big, Long Hug and plenty of Kisses and whisper to them How much I love them.Need to do this before they grow up and live their own lives.By then,I might not get the chance to do all those mushy stuff.


13.Strengthen my relationship with my creator much much more.Pray a lot more often and be more spiritual rather than religious.Whew!that’s a lot of “more”….!


14.Be grateful for the blessings I have been given all these years and look forward to being one fulfilled and happy Golden Girl!


I’ll probably add some more things i want to be doing in the future.After all, I still got 8 or more(I wish!) years to enjoy before I reach 50.I would most as likely as not raise it up to 20 or a hundred(?) maybe but as for the moment this will have to do!


(February 25, 2009)

For my Mommy...

It’s been almost 8 years since that day....
And I’d say not a day went by that I didn’t miss you.
 I love you Mom….

I MISS YOU


Sha la la la laSha la la la la
You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heavenYou’d hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leaveI wanted you to stay here holding me
I miss youI miss your smile
And I still she’d a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it’s different now
You’re still here somehow
My heart won’t let you go
And I need you to knowI miss you, sha la la la laI miss you
You used to call me your dreamer
And now I’m living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that’s happening for me
I’m thinking back on the pastIt’s true that time is flying but too fast
I know you’re in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you’re where you need to beEven though it’s not here with me
I miss youI miss your smile
And I still she’d a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it’s different now
You’re still here somehow
My heart won’t let you go
And I need you to knowI miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still she’d a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it’s different now
You’re still here somehow
My heart won’t let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la


(October 02, 2008)

The Journey...

Half the world is sleeping
Half the world’s awake
Half can hear their hearts beat
Half just hear them break
I am but a trav’ler
Been most everywhere
Ask me what you want to know
What a journey it has been
And the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight
And they’re bound to guide my way
When they’re shining on my life
I can see your better day
I won’t let the darkness in
What a journey it has been
I have been to sorrow
I have been to bliss
Where i’ll be tomorrow
I can only guess
Through the darkest desert
Through the deepest snow
Foward, always foward i go
Foward, always foward
Onward, always up
Catching every drop of hope
In my empty cup
What a journey it has been
(June 18, 2008)

My Life in Qatar...

Let me start this blog with a geography lesson (ha,ha,ha). This is because I know for a fact that majority of you do not know this country where I am now residing. Qatar is a country located in the Middle East. Formally it is called State of Qatar. It is situated south of Bahrain and north of the United Arab Emirates. So if you are somewhat familiar with how the countries in the world are positioned then I guess you have a bit of idea now where it is … Anyways, just like you guys, when I got here, I didn’t know much about this part of the globe I am going to call home for a couple of years. I had little knowledge of the place, its culture and its people. That time, the only thing that was on my mind was I and my 2 kids were going to a place where we will be reunited with my husband, their father. Here our family will be complete again. That was enough reason for me to go to a location so foreign to me.




Three months has gone by now and slowly I am learning more about Qatar. It is so different from the Philippines, so very, very different. Unlike our country which is under the democratic form of government (or so they say) here, what they have here is monarchy, which means it is ruled by a King (Emir Sheik Hamad Bin Khalifa Al Thani). Well…,the first thing that caught my attention when we first arrived was how most of the Qatari (that is how they are called) and Arab women are dressed. They wear this thing called “Abayat” (I hope I spelled it right). It is a black long-sleeved dress that covers their whole face (although a few show their faces) or sometimes shows only their eyes and it extends up to their ankles. And for someone who since childhood was so influenced by the American way of dressing and would rather go out wearing jeans and a tee this was really something I found quite odd. At the back of my mind I am so glad and I feel fortunate not to have been brought up like that. But then I guess the women here have embraced that part of their culture and it is not like a big deal of them as it is for me. Oh well, I guess to each his own…



Another thing different here is the weather. When we arrived last November 29th the weather was cold. And as the days went by it became colder. We always have a jacket (a really thick one) in tow lest we want to freeze ourselves to death (hahaha, just a figure of speech). One day it got to 9˚C here. And that was really cold!!!! Every morning there’s fog all around and the cool wind was blowing so strong. Back in the Philippines I rarely wear a jacket or a sweater. I always thought of myself as someone who isn’t the type who gets chills easily but then that’s not the case nowadays. My husband and kids would laugh at me because I often had popsicle fingers and toes in spite of the fact that I am bundled up in a jacket already. Although, honestly speaking, I enjoyed the weather. After all, I spent 40 years of my life in a tropical country where the only place you could enjoy such coolness is to go travel 5 or more hours to Baguio city. But I suppose I have to cherish every moment cause from what I’ve heard the temperature rises to the 40’s or more(ugh!) or more during summer months (which takes place July-October every year) in this area of the world.



What I like most about Qatar are the Malls (Yes!). Being a Mallrat and a self proclaimed Mall Goddess like me I had fun scanning the area. And lo and behold, I was shocked to see that Malls here are open up to 10 in the evening. The supermarkets located inside the Mall (ala SM) closes at 12am. Isn’t that great?! It gives me and my family more time to go window shopping even up to midnight (he,he,he). And take note, almost all the shops around the mall are signature ha. There’s Nine West, Gap, Mango, Giordano, Nike, Adidas, Guess, Marks and Spencers,Dorothy Perkins, etc. But then I feel a sudden longing for all the low cost tiangges located in the middle of Malls there sa ‘Pinas(lalo na nung Christmas). Yon bang tipong tatawad ka like crazy with the friendly neighborhood tindera tapos at the end you are so happy that she gave it to you for P5(?) lower than the original price. Nandun yung excitement ng shopping eh (hehehe). People here enjoy malling as well.Minsan nga parang mga addict rin sa malls. That’s why getting a parking spot in carparks of the malls (kahit ang laki ng parking area) during rush-hour (1pm and 7pm) is like a life and death situation here (harhar). But then, strolling around the mall is well worth it naman.



By the way, weekends here are Friday and Saturday. When we just got here we had a hard time adjusting. Kasi naman the weeks starts on a Sunday.A day when we Filipinos in the Philippines mostly bum around the house and do nothing all day. We even hear mass on a Saturday.



I could still name a lot more differences about this country and the Philippines but I guess my blog would be very long and you might lose the urge to read on…Although to tell you the truth, I have a lot more kwentos and adventures to tell you guys about this new place where I am now but I guess I’ll just reserve it for my next blog. Till then….taataa for now…









(February 29, 2008)

Confessions of an OFW's Wife...

OFW’s wife…Oh yes, it is true, I am one of them.When I got married (way back in ‘95), I never thought or even dreamt I would belong to this type of exceptional women. The thought of being married but living apart just because of financial reasons never really attracted me. I always believed that a married couple should be physically available for each other. The thought of being apart from my husband gave my stomach a sick feeling. I still feel that way up to now. But then we can never really tell what life might throw our way. Anyways, due to a serious personal reason (which by the way is another topic that I would rather not discuss), my husband decided to try his luck in a foreign land. Notice I said my husband? I never really agreed to his plan but then I knew his intentions were noble and there was really nothing much I could do and so I gave in. My husband has been working abroad for 2 years now. Has it only been two years?! It seems longer to me. Maybe it’s like dog years, hahaha. Kidding aside, I had to do a lot of adjusting the first few months. Well, to tell you honesty, I still am. The first nights were spent sleepless staring at the ceiling. After all, it has been years (10 years to be exact!) since I slept on a bed alone . I felt like a small child sleeping all by my lonesome in a queen sized bed. At times I tried to fight back the tears and I just closed my eyes and hugged my ever trusty pillow until I find myself finally drifting off to sleep. I miss my husband, my lover, my bestfriend. I am really lucky to have somebody like him. But then, we are apart. Reality bites! And it bites hard!
We keep in touch via the internet and a week won’t pass without us having a chat. My husband knows everything that goes on with us back here and vice versa. But still, life just isn’t the same. I guess you guys know what I mean.
By the way, I am not the ordinary OFW wife you know who’s a stay-at-home mom. I had to juggle being a single parent and a nursing student(thank God that’s over) as well. That was no easy task! Just to let you in on a few of my "Superwoman" feats; there were times when I had to attend PTA meetings at my kids school during my lunch breaks. Which meant checking on my watch most of the time and wishing the teacher would just stick to the topics so that I could leave right away and I wouldn’t be late for my next class. Another one is, instead of going straight to bed after coming home from an eight hour hospital duty I had to make a school project for my kid which will be passed the following day and being able to doze off only at the wee hours of the morning. Not to mention I also sometimes had to buy the groceries after school. You should see me wearing my pristine white nursing uniform and having more than a handful of groceries in tow. And sometimes, if I am really, really lucky (?) those 3 sitautions happen in 1 day (whew!). Thinking of it now though, I find it a bit amusing.
These past two years have been a roller coaster ride for me. It’s hard when you come home and your just itching to tell somebody how your day has been and nobody is there. Holidays are the worst. I realized that Christmas and New Year are never quite the same if your family is not complete. Valentine’s is when I miss my husband the most. Oh yes, the hearts day. It’s difficult walking home all alone from whereever and seeing lovers holding hands, whispering sweet nothings to each others ears. Silently I feel a pinch in my chest and thinking to myself if only my husband was here…
Being an OFW’s wife, I can’t help but laugh at myself, get teary eyed then smile. No, it’s not me going crazy. Ahaha. You see, I never realized that this experience would chisel me into something I never knew I was all along (like a diamond in the rough). I am glad of what I have become these past two years. I can say that I am a stronger person now. A more responsible mom, a more understanding and trusting wife (I’d like to believe so) , a better person. It showed me that I could depend on myself(and my ever dependable support system). I learned to be really, really independent. Now I am the master and commander of my life. And what it gave me is PRIDE. To walk tall (even if I’m only 5′2) and be proud of what I had accomplished and of who I am now!
(October 24, 2007)

Tribute to the First Man in my Life...

 IN HER EYES

© Michelle W. Emerson

The depth of a father’s love shows in his daughter’s eyes. What’s known is what’s shown from sunset to sunrise. A foundation built on more than just what is spoken. It’s commitments kept and promised that go unbroken. An emotion so immense that nothing in this world can erase. The permanent impression of love is tattooed upon her face. A relation so peculiar that only the two can understand, Yet so immaculate it’s obvious that, by God, it was planned.
I believe it all began when she would sleep upon your chest. Now you’re her number one, her favorite, you’re the best! You move and she watches so closely it’s as if she’s in a trance. The fact that she can repeat you, exactly, isn’t just by chance. From wrestling, racing, jump roping to being made up like a doll. Both playmate and best friend, you’ve done some of it all. A secret place, a look, special time just for her and you. When a choice is to be made, it’s all about what Daddy wants to do. And you’re there to cater to her every need and every wish. There’s an invisible pedestal for Daddy’s little princess. She’s content just to be. She’s filled with absolute bliss Just to sit up under you, giving an occasional hug and kiss. Sweet dreams are non-existent without Daddy’s goodnight kiss. Your gentle stroke, words just for her, your cheek on hers is what she’d miss. It’s simply because of how you love her, I surmise. The depth of your love always shows in her eyes.
With you her laughter is harder and her smile is even brighter. You have a friendship, a bond, a soul tie that couldn’t be any tighter. It’s more than a special bond; it’s an exclusive connection. No room for a third party or attempted interjection. This love is reserved just for Dad and no other. It’s the kind of love that I could never despise. For the depth of your love always shows in her eyes.
To her, you’d give anything, but it’s not about the gift. It’s that marvelous smile brought on by the spirit you lift. It’s not about what you can give her or about what you can do. It’s about the unconditional love reciprocated between you two. It’s the tears in her eyes when you two disagree. Nothing’s quite right until ‘I love you and I’m sorry.’ It’s that spunk in her step, the rainbow in her eye- You’ll know she’s a Daddy’s girl when she passes by. She’s got the kind of love that never fades or dies. The depth of your love always shows in her eyes.
It’s the music of love’s symphony composed by each precious memory. The love known is the love you’ve shown from sunset to sunrise. The depth of your love will forever show in your daughter’s eyes.
I love you Dad!!!!Happy Birthday =)

(October 09, 2007)

Life Begins at 40...My 1st Blog

Whoever said that at forty years old life is nearing its end? Well, I used to think that way when I was a bit younger (maybe in my 20’s or 30’s). And now that i am 40 (I had my bday last April) I don’t feel a wee bit older than I did ten or twenty years ago (oh, maybe a few body aches here and there but aside from that I still feel the same. Although the favorite songs of my teenage years are coming back and are now being considered as retro. A good thing at this age though is that, I could say that I love myself more now. I have gained this certain air of confidence that I never possessed way back then. I feel as if there is nothing I could not conquer at this age as long as I put my mind into it. I have been feeling this way for a few years now.
Maybe that is why at 36, the thought of going back to college and take up Nursing (everyone seems to think it’s the in thing right now if you want to get rich quick and live the great american dream!) suddenly popped in my mind. And so now, after 4 gruelling years I finally got my 2nd college degree (the first one was Commerce - Major in Business Administration). These last 4 years back in college (again!) have been a test of my endurance and patience, not only as a student, a wife, a mom (I have 2 kids by the way) and as a human being. I gained more knowledge and wisdom because of this big step i have taken at this stage in my life.I have learned so many new things from my new found friends (although I still kept my old pals, love you guys!) who are so much younger than me that they could even pass as my kids had I decided to marry and have kids in my 20’s. I am now up to date as to latest songs and fashion (lest, i want to be left out in our conversations at breaktime during lecture or hospital duty).But giving it a lot of thought, if I would be able go back in time I’d probably won’t do it again,that is,return to schooling. Nursing is no easy course, you know. I breezed my way through Commerce but I cried buckets of tears in Nursing.
Oh well, I am just glad that part of my life is finally over. You just can’t imageine the relief I felt after I graduated last April. And I am proud to say that, I am now a nurse, a registered one at that (I passed the nursing board exam June 2007). Even if I am not yet practicing my profession i am looking forward to it. And I am so excited in this new career path that I have chosen for myself. It seems that at 40, a lot of new doors both in my career and personal life is opening. If my husband’s and my plans push through I’d probably be sitting in front of a computer in Qatar making my next blog. The statement that "Life begins @ 40" has new meaning to me now. Because I am a living testament of it. Whoever said that at forty years old life is nearing its end? Not me, i’m sure about that. Because at 40 i feel as though my life is just starting…
(September 18, 2007 )