Confessions of an OFW's Wife...

OFW’s wife…Oh yes, it is true, I am one of them.When I got married (way back in ‘95), I never thought or even dreamt I would belong to this type of exceptional women. The thought of being married but living apart just because of financial reasons never really attracted me. I always believed that a married couple should be physically available for each other. The thought of being apart from my husband gave my stomach a sick feeling. I still feel that way up to now. But then we can never really tell what life might throw our way. Anyways, due to a serious personal reason (which by the way is another topic that I would rather not discuss), my husband decided to try his luck in a foreign land. Notice I said my husband? I never really agreed to his plan but then I knew his intentions were noble and there was really nothing much I could do and so I gave in. My husband has been working abroad for 2 years now. Has it only been two years?! It seems longer to me. Maybe it’s like dog years, hahaha. Kidding aside, I had to do a lot of adjusting the first few months. Well, to tell you honesty, I still am. The first nights were spent sleepless staring at the ceiling. After all, it has been years (10 years to be exact!) since I slept on a bed alone . I felt like a small child sleeping all by my lonesome in a queen sized bed. At times I tried to fight back the tears and I just closed my eyes and hugged my ever trusty pillow until I find myself finally drifting off to sleep. I miss my husband, my lover, my bestfriend. I am really lucky to have somebody like him. But then, we are apart. Reality bites! And it bites hard!
We keep in touch via the internet and a week won’t pass without us having a chat. My husband knows everything that goes on with us back here and vice versa. But still, life just isn’t the same. I guess you guys know what I mean.
By the way, I am not the ordinary OFW wife you know who’s a stay-at-home mom. I had to juggle being a single parent and a nursing student(thank God that’s over) as well. That was no easy task! Just to let you in on a few of my "Superwoman" feats; there were times when I had to attend PTA meetings at my kids school during my lunch breaks. Which meant checking on my watch most of the time and wishing the teacher would just stick to the topics so that I could leave right away and I wouldn’t be late for my next class. Another one is, instead of going straight to bed after coming home from an eight hour hospital duty I had to make a school project for my kid which will be passed the following day and being able to doze off only at the wee hours of the morning. Not to mention I also sometimes had to buy the groceries after school. You should see me wearing my pristine white nursing uniform and having more than a handful of groceries in tow. And sometimes, if I am really, really lucky (?) those 3 sitautions happen in 1 day (whew!). Thinking of it now though, I find it a bit amusing.
These past two years have been a roller coaster ride for me. It’s hard when you come home and your just itching to tell somebody how your day has been and nobody is there. Holidays are the worst. I realized that Christmas and New Year are never quite the same if your family is not complete. Valentine’s is when I miss my husband the most. Oh yes, the hearts day. It’s difficult walking home all alone from whereever and seeing lovers holding hands, whispering sweet nothings to each others ears. Silently I feel a pinch in my chest and thinking to myself if only my husband was here…
Being an OFW’s wife, I can’t help but laugh at myself, get teary eyed then smile. No, it’s not me going crazy. Ahaha. You see, I never realized that this experience would chisel me into something I never knew I was all along (like a diamond in the rough). I am glad of what I have become these past two years. I can say that I am a stronger person now. A more responsible mom, a more understanding and trusting wife (I’d like to believe so) , a better person. It showed me that I could depend on myself(and my ever dependable support system). I learned to be really, really independent. Now I am the master and commander of my life. And what it gave me is PRIDE. To walk tall (even if I’m only 5′2) and be proud of what I had accomplished and of who I am now!
(October 24, 2007)